Starfleet Windows OS


Lately my company computer is having a major lag issue because of this TrustedInstaller service, which is a Windows Module Installer that is scheduled to automatically run everyday. When it runs, the physical memory ramps all the way up to 95% or more, effectively preventing anything else from functioning. Because it’s a company computer, I can’t turn the damned thing off and our tech support is taking their sweet time “investigating”.

Sometimes when I watch Star Trek and how they rely on the computer to do everything (Computer, open the door. Computer, flush the toilet), how reliable is their OS, really? Can you imagine if Starfleet runs Windows v 47785.1?

Ensign: Sir, Borg Cube dead ahead!

Captain: On-screen!

*Hourglass icon comes up, Mainvidscreen (Not Responding)*

Captain: Quick, bring up the Task Manager!

Ensign: Uhm, it’s auto-patching, sir.

Captain: Kill it! We need main screen!

Ensign: Yes sir! *Clickclickclick*

*Admin Access Only. Please contact your tech support.*

Captain: Contact Starfleet Tech Support, right now.

SF Tech Support: Good afternoon. How may I help you?


SF Tech Support: Of course. Can I have your registration number?

Captain: COME ON. It’s NCC1701D.

SF Tech Support: Thank you. Have you tried turning your computer off and on?

Captain: But everything runs on the computer, including weapons, navigation and life support. Can I really turn it off?

ST Tech Support: Just make sure you saved everything before you reboot.

Captain: Make it so.

*Powers off. Life support is off. People start gasping for breath. Windows checking for updates.*

Captain: Really?

*Please wait while Windows applies updates. 23% complete.*

*51% complete. Windows is updating. Please don’t turn off your starship.*

*86% complete. Windows is updating. Please don’t turn off your starship.*

*Windows update complete. Windows startup chime plays.*

Ensign: Systems back online, sir.

Captain: Forget that. Lock on target and fire all weapons!

Ensign: Yes sir! *Clickclickclick* Oh no, tactical.exe file has stopped working!



2 thoughts on “Starfleet Windows OS

  1. LOL… This sort of thing is why I left the Windows realm years ago, tho being a Mac user has problems of its own (you can pretty much forget about gaming on a Mac, for example).


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