Reckoning with the Zen-Cathy.

Boys and girls, fiction time. Gather around.

Captain’s log, Stardate 87850.61 – Our good intentions in assisting the Lukari somehow led us right back into another fight, this time with the Zen-Cathy. Most Cathys I know are quite mellow, unlike Christines or Samanthas, but not these Cathys and their prefix of Zen is flat-out misleading. They were doing some questionable stuff with protomatter in this unexplored system, so we took a few seconds out of our busy schedules to warp in and beat up their fleets. Since we achieved orbital superiority you would think we could’ve bombarded their weapons site or beamed up some protomatter sample, but no, the Lukari insisted that we all beam down and fight the Cathys hand-to-hand. 


I like Kuumaarke. I really do. She’s cheery and enthusiastic, I feel like I should introduce her to the power of pom-poms and the ancient Earth tradition of cheerleading. I just hope she learns soon that ground combat is messy, unsanitary, and laggy. At least leave me out of it next time.

On the plus side, it did let me have my first good look at the Cathys. They’re big, purple lizardy things, just like most Cathys I know, and my tactical officer Master Chief John-117 insists that they are from a different game universe. That’s a little bit weird.

After we beat the Cathy’s ass, their leader, like every bad guy leader I’ve ever run into, had to get the last word in before fleeing. We sent the Lukari on their way and resumed course towards Yorktown Station (which exact location we’re still trying to figure out). Unfortunately our communication array sustained heavy coffee damage in the firefight with the Cathys, so we missed all the Starfleet orders to head towards the Zen-Cathy Battlezone. 

My comm officer assured me that she’s turned on the voice message, and that they’re blow-drying the communications array even as I speak into this mic. I expect I’ll be returning Starfleet’s calls soon. Any time now. In a bit. Whenever. Maybe.

Captain’s Log, Supplemental – Grrrrrr. Another war with another species/faction. It’s like there is a queue lined up at the door! What do we have to do to get out of this rut? I’m just trying to do some actual exploring, dammit. Y’know, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no pretty girl has gone before? What happened to all that??

P.S. Guess I should be grateful that all these baddies come at us one at a time. Don’t read Full-scale War for Dummies and expect things to work out.

— Captain Heidy von Bach, U.S.S. Oculus —


8 thoughts on “Reckoning with the Zen-Cathy.

  1. lol… This is great, Heidy. You’re so awesome. 🙂

    And I’m totally feeling where you’re coming from on this: yet another species, yet another war. Scan this, shoot that. Wash, rinse, repeat. Yawn.

    This is part of why I’ve gotten so burnt out in STO of late. I think it’s time we finally did some proper Trek stuff – exploring strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations, boldly going where no-one has gone before, that sort of thing.

    That’s basically what I was aiming for with my own Trek fan fiction story; finally having ended all those wars, Starfleet finally start getting back to their roots as explorers and sends an expeditionary fleet (not just one ship but a whole fleet) to the unknown regions of the galaxy, led by my main characters, Admiral Jason West (aka “Wild West”) and his crew including several of his captains, some of whom play a more prominent role later on in the story. At least that’s the general theme and plot of it. I just hope it doesn’t suck too badly, and that CBS/Paramount won’t come after me if I ever do put it out there. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish I can find the link to that issue of Jayce Naval Interstellar, the one that talks about Starfleet’s Four Quadrant Strategy. It’s got some very intriguing ideas, such as Starfleet’s new exploration approach in the wake of wider use of Transwarp/Iconian Gates. Basically, instead of sending out individual ships in various directions, they would go out as task forces; the example quoted consisted of a Guardian cruiser which served as the flagship, and four other vessels. They would hit a new area, spread out to explore and survey in all directions, and feed data back to the flagship. In a pinch (i.e. a fight) they can support each other.

      Makes a lot of sense. I think that model would fit your story very well.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. In the grim darkness of the near future there is only war.

    IMO exploration in STO suffers from lore and gameplay problems.

    By the 2400’s, the exploration in the galaxy is mostly already done. Sure there will be pockets of unexplored space or previously undiscovered planets, but for the most part Starfleet has mapped the quadrants. If Kirk, Picard and Janeway were like Vasco de Gama, Ferdinand Magellan, and Christopher Columbus, our captains are more like Cortez and Pizarro. Sure we could potentially discover new people and places, previously missed, but for the most part we’re busy engaging in gunboat diplomacy and pacifying the locals to set the stage for colonization.

    Gameplaywise, exploration would get dull rather quickly. How many minigames would you tolerate before you quit playing because of boredom? Yes I know grinding for marks and dil gets pretty boring too, but that’s par for the course. At least with the murderizing, we get treated to pretty lightshow. I’m not sure how you can make exploring fun in STO without rebuilding the game from scratch.


    1. Neither do I, but I’m not a game designer and certainly not aware of what technology is out there now, so I’d rather let the professionals think about the ‘how’s. It may involve rebuilding the game from scratch, maybe it won’t even be Star Trek Online, but the direction STO has been taking is just not very Star Trek in spirit.

      Indeed, the analogy you made is interesting in that if the assumption is true in-game, and we are playing the part of Cortez and Pizarro, then we really aren’t objectively the good guys anymore, are we? Again, not very true to the Star Trek we’ve seen on the screen but definitely possible.

      Maybe I’m naive, but I’d rather stick with the idealistic Federation we know. I didn’t sign up to play the Terran Empire.


      1. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Our captains have been pretty much been on a war footing ever since they left the Academy and the first casualty of war is innocence. Their entire command experience consists of skirmishes and full blown wars, all of which were started by others. So its become standard procedure to shoot the alien first and ask questions second.

        At least that’s my head canon for my AoY toon. My other Fed main IS from Terran Empire. He surreptitiously killed his counterpart and is now seeking to sabotage the Federation from within, so that the Terran Empire can more easily conquer it.

        But your point still stands, STO has gone way past DS9 levels of grimdark and into Warlord Janeway territory:


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