Boys and girls, fiction time. Gather around.
Captain’s log, Stardate 87850.61 – Our good intentions in assisting the Lukari somehow led us right back into another fight, this time with the Zen-Cathy. Most Cathys I know are quite mellow, unlike Christines or Samanthas, but not these Cathys and their prefix of Zen is flat-out misleading. They were doing some questionable stuff with protomatter in this unexplored system, so we took a few seconds out of our busy schedules to warp in and beat up their fleets. Since we achieved orbital superiority you would think we could’ve bombarded their weapons site or beamed up some protomatter sample, but no, the Lukari insisted that we all beam down and fight the Cathys hand-to-hand.
I like Kuumaarke. I really do. She’s cheery and enthusiastic, I feel like I should introduce her to the power of pom-poms and the ancient Earth tradition of cheerleading. I just hope she learns soon that ground combat is messy, unsanitary, and laggy. At least leave me out of it next time.
On the plus side, it did let me have my first good look at the Cathys. They’re big, purple lizardy things, just like most Cathys I know, and my tactical officer Master Chief John-117 insists that they are from a different game universe. That’s a little bit weird.
After we beat the Cathy’s ass, their leader, like every bad guy leader I’ve ever run into, had to get the last word in before fleeing. We sent the Lukari on their way and resumed course towards Yorktown Station (which exact location we’re still trying to figure out). Unfortunately our communication array sustained heavy coffee damage in the firefight with the Cathys, so we missed all the Starfleet orders to head towards the Zen-Cathy Battlezone.
My comm officer assured me that she’s turned on the voice message, and that they’re blow-drying the communications array even as I speak into this mic. I expect I’ll be returning Starfleet’s calls soon. Any time now. In a bit. Whenever. Maybe.
Captain’s Log, Supplemental – Grrrrrr. Another war with another species/faction. It’s like there is a queue lined up at the door! What do we have to do to get out of this rut? I’m just trying to do some actual exploring, dammit. Y’know, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no pretty girl has gone before? What happened to all that??
P.S. Guess I should be grateful that all these baddies come at us one at a time. Don’t read Full-scale War for Dummies and expect things to work out.
— Captain Heidy von Bach, U.S.S. Oculus —